Ryan Turcotte ([info]shunny) wrote,
@ 2009-09-27 16:01:00
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Current location:computer center
Entry tags:amherst, love, s

and anna begins to live again
I broke up with Saskia about a month ago.

We had a fun weekend when she visited from Boston, and then on that Thursday she called me drunk and it was an annoying, unproductive hour that I did not want to be on the phone. I said something really shitty to her on IM the next day, and we didn't talk for a while until she called me up, wondering why we hadn't talked.

After Thurs/Friday I did not really want to talk to her. So I didn't. And we had 2 or 3 phone conversations over the next few weeks that were unproductive. In one of them I broached that I was thinking of breaking up with her, because "if you're going to get drunk and call me and do something I don't like and it makes me unhappy, I'm going to think about breaking up with you".

My other reason is internal. Sometimes when I was with her I thought that everything was perfect, and I wanted to be with her forever. And then there were other times where my brain said that I didn't want to be with her.

I've talked with some people, well, a lot of people about this, and some mentioned how it was normal. Other people mentioned that sometimes its just not meant to be. Psychologically, my mind is not perfect. I've dealt with a lot of anxiety and depression, and still have periods of bad thoughts.

After a month, I know I at least probably bailed out on things a little too soon. Maybe things were going sour but I just gave up. You need to know that you need to break up with someone before you ruin a strong relationship. We had a much stronger relationship than some people I know, yet I still ended it.

I also have terrible timing, since I was hoping to stay at Amherst a whole entire year. But my petition to stay another semester so I could take more courses was rejected. I could stay around in the area and work (and might), but it does kind of make it harder to meet people at Amherst, knowing that I won't be here next semester. I'm free now, in a way, so I'm really considering traveling for the next semester, probably to some place in Europe. Finances are a slight issue, but I need to get out there.


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[info]perisoft
2009-09-27 10:52 pm UTC (link)
You should try Tokyo. Expensive as hell, but one of the only real cities in the world next to new york.

Also, if you go to an expat bar called Muse, you'll apparently be a very exotic american, and won't remain alone for more than a minute or two. One of the guys who I'm here with for TGS said that he had two girls almost literally crawling on him within 30 seconds of walking in - and he's a normal-looking 40-year-old dude. Yikes.

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[info]shunny
2009-10-02 09:02 pm UTC (link)
Tokyo, eh? Nice.

I have a friend who went abroad to Japan and he enjoyed it. I'd love to go but that might surpass the budget.

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[info]perisoft
2009-10-04 02:44 am UTC (link)
Yeah, it's expensive as hell. The hotel (Hyatt) wasn't too bad - maybe 130 a night? though that was a corporate rate I'm sure - but food is relatively expensive if you stray from McDonald's. Tokyo is NOT the place to buy electronics - everything's at least 20% higher than in the US, but some stuff is truly ludicrous depending on where you are. I was in a kitschy store off somewhere away from tourist areas, and those little $5 travel alarm clocks were $30 or so. Light bulbs in Akihabara were $3 when they should have been $.60.

BUT: It's really a fascinating place. Get comfortable with the rail network and (ideally) have a phone with GPS and google maps, and you're golden. Be prepared to be creeped out, though - trains full of people wearing surgical masks, women who act like little girls, and middle-school-themed strip clubs are the norm. Hmmm...

I'd like to have a second or third home/apartment in Tokyo. I would NOT like to live there full-time - it'd be like living in a mental hospital. A really plush mental hospital with a vast array of things to see and do - but after a while, you'd start to act like the inmates, and that's a scary proposition, particularly if you might eventually have to return to a country where pedophilia isn't a national pastime. :)

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